Friday, April 13

So I believe in angels.

Not the white-winged, golden-haloed, Christmas pageant kind, although I don't rule out much of anything when it comes to what they might look like. Ghosts, maybe. But I believe in some kind of being, a power that lives on in the people who love us. Protectors, influencers, maybe even trouble-makers who live on in some way after they die.

I don't question the scientific validity of it very much. I can't because I would lose that argument. Sure we need to believe it, that our loved ones live on. It keeps us sane. But it goes beyond that. So many beautiful, unexplainable things happen in the boredom of everyday life that simply can't be brushed off as coincidence. I believe it because I feel it. And I'm okay with that.

And today I'm trying to imagine what kind of angel my uncle Dick will be. Before cancer, he wasn't someone that I'd describe as a fighter, but he lost a noble battle last week. I guess everyone becomes a fighter when it comes to cancer. His focus became more about fighting to raise the spirits of the family he knew he was leaving behind. And Dick is good at raising spirits.

Dick was a lot of good things in his life--he raised a beautiful family, he was a good friend, he loved to golf--but when I think of his what his angelic influence will be, I imagine it will be that ability to raise the spirits of others. He's the guy who tells you what you think is a serious story, until he delivers the line at the end. He's the one who will make himself look silly to make you laugh. He'll even help you laugh at yourself, and make you feel like you are in on the joke too.

So I'm thinking instead of wings and a halo, maybe he'll be wearing a kilt like the one he wore to his daughter's wedding--the Italian guy having a little fun with the Irish side of the family. Or maybe one of his old Halloween costumes--I'm thinking God might get a kick out of his nun get-up from the 70's, back when his moustache and a cigar really completed the look. If there's a dress-code, though, he'll still rock it. He'll talk God into a game of cards and a glass of wine and have him laughing in no time. Because we know that God has a sense of humor.

Me? I'm going to think of him when I need my own spirits lifted, when I need to laugh at myself. I get myself far too worked up about things that I can do nothing about, and Heaven knows I need to relax. And now Heaven's got one more angel to help with that.

We will miss you, Dick.

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